


Worth It?

by dream_maker



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_maker/pseuds/dream_maker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Zach comes out, then what? Will Frankie even be there for him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my mind for some time. Seeing the difference in Zach and Frankie's lives, having nothing to do with sexuality, sometimes I wonder if that's what actually holds Zach back...

“How many times do I have to tell you this Zach? I’m not doing it anymore. I’m done.”

“So you’re gonna be in Florida for like four days over Thanksgiving and you won’t see me at all? Come on Frankie, we always find time to be together when you’re in town.” Zach whined. “I miss you.”

“I don’t want to sneak around anymore. You wanna go out on a date with me? Fine. I’ll take you to a romantic dinner in Boca, hold your hand over the table, and make googly eyes at you over candlelight and an expensive bottle of wine. But if you want to come to my house at some ungodly hour, making sure no one sees you, just so you can get laid, well, I’m not playing that game anymore.”

Frankie was laying on his bed in Los Angeles, his arm thrown over his face, sighing in frustration. He was over it. It had been like this with Zach for over a year. They weren’t in any type of committed relationship. They did their own thing most of the time but when and if they were in the same town they always hooked up. Their physical chemistry was off the charts and they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.

Truth is that had always been the case. In the Big Brother house, they rolled around on beds and sofas together, held hands in front of their housemates, scratched each others’ backs till they fell asleep, entangled their legs and surreptitiously pushed their bodies together under blankets and comforters hidden from the cameras. In jury they were inseparable from the moment Frankie walked in, sharing their first real kiss alone in a bed together where they held each other, caressed, and made out all night long.

And then suddenly they were in the real world with no more cameras, but something far worse as far as Zach was concerned. The whole world it seemed wanted to know just what Zankie was.

Zach was overwhelmed by both his popularity and all the questions about Zankie, not to mention his family and friends' confusion about his behavior with Frankie over the summer. He was scared and firmly implanted deep in the closet. Of course he was straight, he assured everyone. He would do anything to win a half a million dollars. You know, Frankie was really touchy feely. Any girls who want to go to Germany should DM their applications.

But truthfully he couldn’t wait to see Frankie for the first time. Their Starbucks date ended with Frankie giving Zach the most amazing blowjob he’d ever had in the back seat of the car in an isolated corner of a parking lot. When Zach’s parents wouldn’t let him go to Orlando later that week, Zach was devastated and Frankie was pissed. Seeing Frankie’s posts with that douchebag Michael confirmed that he had found companionship elsewhere which left Zach distraught. But everything was good by the end of October and they finally had sex for the first time on Zankieween.

The next month was Frankie’s Rock of Ages opening night, and Frankie was all over Zach the moment they were back at his apartment. But instead of pushing him away with all those people around, Zach enthusiastically kissed him back and held him tight. There was an implicit understanding that while Zach was very openly NOT straight in front of Frankie’s friends and their Big Brother friends, the nature of their relationship was private and not to be shared with fans or even with the people in Zach’s life in Florida. Besides, it was casual. It was sex. It was an insane attraction that the boys just enjoyed when they were together and tried not to worry about defining when they were apart. 

And that was their pattern. When they could work it out, they would find a way to see each other. Sometimes their fans knew about it, more often than not they didn’t. The chemistry that manifested on the feeds was real. When they were together, they were inextricably drawn to each other. But when they were apart, they did their own thing.

It had actually worked pretty well for Frankie. He was busy. His career was his top priority and he was taking every opportunity he possibly could to keep building it. Zach on the other hand seemed to burn every single bridge he came to, making misstep after misstep, sometimes of his own volition but often because of choices influenced by his family, friends and “management.”  It was hard to watch, and much of his and the Zankie fandom soon turned on him.

And so here they were, a year plus later. Zach was feeling desperate and despondent at Frankie’s refusal to see him. Yeah sure, Frankie didn’t owe him anything but – fuck – he was going to be in Florida for almost a week. Why wouldn’t he take part of at least one day if not more to see Zach? Suddenly he was angry. Bordering on enraged.

“You just want me to throw my life into shambles by coming out so you don’t have to be ashamed of fucking a closeted guy. It’s all about you!” Zach shouted.

“What are you TALKING about?” Frankie replied angrily.

“What if I did come out Frankie? Than what?”

“Well…” Frankie replied, “Then you could you live your truth for a fucking change. And we wouldn’t have to worry so much about people seeing us together or knowing that we are more than just friends. We could date publicly.”

“We could _date_ publicly?” Zach replied. “You make me sound like some dude you met on Tinder. Or I guess it’s grindr isn’t it? Just some guy to date and to fuck. But openly so you don’t have to be ashamed of being with me. That’s all it would be, right?”

“Well… I mean, Zach you live in Florida. I travel all over the country and the world. I usually don’t stay in one place for more than a few days. I’m busy. I’m working harder than I ever have in my life. So am I going to be able to settle into some quiet domestic routine? No of course not.”

“Okay,” Zach countered. “So let me get this straight. You won’t see me anymore because I’m not out publicly. You’ve given me an ultimatum to come out or that’s it. But if and when I _do_ come out, we will be exactly as we are now – friends with benefits. Except everyone will know about it.

“So basically you want me to throw my life into a complete upheaval and face the wrath of my family who can’t deal with me not being straight, my friends most of whom are fucking homophobes, and the fans who will never let me hear the end of it that I’ve been lying to them all these months. But hey – YOU’LL be able to fuck me openly now – you know, when you can work me into your busy busy schedule.”

Frankie was silent. He hadn’t thought of it that way. But what did Zach expect? Did he think Frankie was going to move to Florida and teach dance or something while he and Zach had a little romance? That type of life wasn’t in the cards for Frankie Grande, at least not now and maybe not ever.

“Look Zach,” Frankie said calmly, “Come out or don’t – that’s up to you. I’m just saying that if you’re out, then we can see each other openly when we’re in the same town; we won’t have to hide and we’ll just have fun. The truth is I can’t really promise more than that. It’s how my life is right now.”

“Okay.” Zach replied sarcastically. “Well thanks for letting me know exactly how your life is. I appreciate your honesty. The thing is I actually _have_ been thinking about coming out because I’m kind of in love with you and it is just too hard to pretend to be dating girls and to keep insisting that you and I are just close friends. But while you and I might be the same sexually, we apparently don’t want the same thing at all. I want a relationship. I want to be in love and be loved. Maybe I’ll try to meet someone here who wants what I want.”

"So wait,” said Frankie confusedly, “You’re just gonna keep dating south Florida girls and hope that you can actually be happy with one of them even if you’re not into women?" 

“No of course not.” Zach replied. “I’m gay. I need to face it and stop running away from it. You know what? I think I am going to come out to my family sometime before Thanksgiving. I will tell some of my close friends too but that’s it at this point. I don’t think I need to post it on Twitter or anything. And then I’m going to date men. I am going to actively look to meet and date men.”

“No you’re not,” Frankie laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Zach retorted. “I’ve never been more fucking serious in my life. But don’t worry Frankie, I probably won’t fall in love right away, just get some more experience with men. So hey, if you’re in town and want to take me out for that fancy dinner then hook up, maybe we can do that. But no pressure. I know how busy and driven you are. So you do you. Goodbye Frankie. Happy Thanksgiving.”

Frankie stared at his phone in disbelief. What had just happened? Would Zach really come out? And start dating men? Other men besides him? Knowing Zach was with women, even seeing him pretend to be in an actual romance with Bruna never bothered Frankie. He knew it was all for show and he actually found it sort of amusing because Zach clearly had no game with women. But Zach as an out gay man, meeting men online or in bars and dating them? Having sex with them? Frankie didn’t know how he felt about that but it wasn’t great, that’s for sure.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zach moves forward with his plan to come out. Frankie is trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. But not doing it very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda love this story. ;)

Zach parked his car and quietly entered the house so as not to wake anyone. It wasn’t that late but his family went to bed early. He had just returned from a gay bar, his second such venture since his conversation with Frankie six days earlier. The first time he went was the same night he talked to Frankie. He took an uber knowing he’d likely need a lot of liquid courage. He was sitting at the bar nursing his second drink when a very hot guy, Aaron, approached him. After a few more drinks and a lot of flirting and dancing, Aaron led Zach into the men’s room, where they locked themselves in a stall, made out for a few minutes, then blew each other while other patrons entered and exited the restroom. It was raunchy, messy, and hot as hell. After they finished, Zach told Aaron he had to get home, then quickly called an uber. He sat in the backseat of the car in a complete daze – totally freaked out but also giggling to himself that he had actually hooked up in a men’s room. How cliché!  This second venture to a different club had been less insane. He met a couple guys, exchanged phone numbers, danced some, but didn’t let it go any further than that.

It had been quite a week, to put it mildly. After ending the phone call with Frankie, Zach was determined with a singular focus to do exactly as he told Frankie he would. That evening it just so happened that Peyton was at a friend’s house for dinner, giving Zach a perfect opportunity to talk to his parents. He was noticeably nervous and agitated the entire meal. His mom kept asking him what was wrong and telling him to stop tapping his foot and bouncing his knee up and down. 

Finally as they were finishing their meal, Zach worked up his nerves and said, “Hey I need to talk to you guys about something.”

“I knew something was going on,” Jill exclaimed. “You’re a nervous wreck. Is everything okay? Did you get into some kind of trouble? What’s the matter Zachary?”

“Ma, relax, I’m not in any sort of trouble! Why do you always think that? I’m fine. It just… there’s something that has been weighing on me for a long time and I need to deal with it or I am going to go crazy.”

Jill glanced at Kevin, then looked back at Zach expectantly. Kevin remained silent, looking down and poking the few remaining pieces of lettuce on his plate.

“Well, um, you guys know what went down with me and Frankie during Big Brother. And how Zankie was this big thing.  Yeah of course you know; what am I thinking? Anyway … the thing is … I’ve realized – actually I’ve known for a long time – that I’m, uh… well... I’m gay.”

Zach took a deep breath and sat back looking uncertainly at his mom for a reaction. She was silent with an unreadable look on her face.

“Is this about Frankie?” was all she asked.

“No Ma. It’s not about Frankie.  I mean, have Frankie and I been, um, romantic? Yes we have. I figure you’ve probably suspected that even though we haven’t talked about it. But Frankie and I are not together and to be honest even though I care about him a great deal, I don’t think he really wants a relationship right now. And I think that I do. But the first step was to finally come out to at least you and some of my closer friends. I’m not planning on spilling this all over social media, but I am going to look to date men and if it gets out, it gets out.”

Kevin finally glanced up from his plate, his expression a mixture of anger and resignation.  “You positive about this Zach?” he asked sarcastically. “You sure seemed to enjoy the whole Tinder slicing pussies thing. What the hell was that all about?”

“That was about me being scared as fuck to accept who I really am. This isn’t something that just started with Frankie, Dad. This is something I have struggled with for a lot of years. I’ve been able to hide it pretty well, but unfortunately three months in front of cameras 24-7 kinda exposed me. And I’m done with being scared and hiding. So I just want you to know and … well, that’s it.” Zach sat back, blinking quickly to prevent the tears in his eyes from spilling onto his cheeks.

Jill’s face softened, “Look Zach. This doesn’t come as a total surprise to us but you’re going to have to give us some time to get used to the idea. No matter what though, we love you and we will always support you. Okay?”

“Thanks Ma,” Zach said shakily, standing up to hug his mom then his dad. Kevin remained silent and Zach couldn’t help but notice that there was still a glint of anger in his eyes.

He and his parents hadn’t discussed it since then but Zach had put into motion his plan to get himself out there, starting with his gay club adventure that first night. As it turned out, the only friend he had called so far was AJ. Which was sort of a copout because AJ already knew about Zach and Frankie and therefore knew at the very least that Zach wasn't straight. But Zach just didn’t feel like dealing with some of his other friends like Josh, Eric and Logan. Even though they probably wouldn’t be surprised, their tendency toward homophobia was just not something he felt like dealing with yet.

AJ had been incredibly supportive and was so happy Zach was finally coming out. He was always Zankie as fuck and was one of the few who saw their intense chemistry up close and personal. He felt Zach’s pain when he ultimately didn’t have the courage at the time to take the relationship public.  AJ was surprised therefore to discover that Zach’s coming out had nothing to do with Frankie and was in fact _despite_ Frankie in many ways. 

AJ was a sounding board for Zach as he tried to figure out how to go about online dating without exposing himself to fans who might make a big deal out of it. Zach decided to use OKCupid, a free online dating service. He used his middle name, Colin, instead of Zach and posted pictures in which he was wearing a dark cap (not pink!) or was with a group of people not too close to the camera. There was still a chance he would be recognized of course but so far he hadn’t been. He’d had some brief conversations with a few men but no one who he was interested in meeting.

At least not till earlier today. He had started messaging with a guy named Tony. He was really nice looking, somewhat small and compact but with a great body. His big brown eyes combined with a two-day scruff and a dark baseball cap worn backwards reminded him of… But never mind he wasn’t going to think about that. Zach had left the bar on the earlier side because he wanted to see if Tony had replied to his last message. Zach had suggested they exchange phone numbers to make it easier to text.

Tony had replied, providing his number and Zach immediately sent him a text.

Zach: _Hey it’s Colin. Is it too late for me to be texting?_

Tony _Hey Colin, how are you? It's fine - I'm a night owl._

Zach: Okay _good, I just got home. I'm doing great, how about you?_

They carried on with a nice conversation, learning more about each other. Tony lived nearby in Jupiter. He had a degree in graphic design from the University of Miami and started his own web design firm.  He had a good sense of humor and their texts back and forth flowed really nicely. Zach was pretty honest about his current situation, leaving out that he had been on _Big Brother_ but saying that he was trying to break into entertainment, doing some modeling and auditioning for commercials and things like that. Tony was really fascinated by that and asked a lot of questions. It was nice to be able to talk about his hopes and dreams without the shadow of Big Brother and all his “wasted potential” as former fans liked to say.

Zach finally got up the nerve to ask him out.

Zach: _So… you wanna maybe meet for dinner one of these nights?_

Tony: _Sure I’d love to. I know Thanksgiving is Thursday but are you free maybe Tuesday night before?_

Zach: _Yeah that’d be great. Do you like sushi?_

Tony: _I love sushi! That would be perfect._

They decided on a sushi restaurant that was nearby and planned to meet at 7pm on Tuesday.  Zach felt honest excitement for the first time in a long time. It was Saturday night, just three days to get through before his first honest-to-goodness date with a dude!

 

 

Frankie had been a little out of sorts ever since his conversation with Zach. He tried to put it out of his mind, rationalizing to himself that this was probably for the best. It was GOOD that Zach was coming out. Good for him; Frankie always preached how people needed to embrace who they were and not try to please other people. And Frankie also knew that his career was at a critical point. He’d had a lot of opportunities over the past year but nothing had really taken him over that tipping point yet and he was still hungry and ambitious. So a relationship with a young, somewhat immature man who was just now dealing with his sexuality was the last thing he needed.

Sure he and Zach connected on an almost surreal level, understanding each other better than most anyone else understood them. Sure they had insane chemistry that surpassed any that he’d had with far more mature and experienced men. Sure Zach’s craziness and impulsivity was something that Frankie couldn’t resist. Sure Zach was absolutely gorgeous and one hundred percent his type. The bottom line was that they just didn’t fit in each other’s lives right now. They could still be friends, even still hook up when they wanted (as long as Zach didn't fall in love with someone else anytime soon), but that was going to have to be enough. I mean, if Frankie was hooking up with other men whenever he wanted, it should be fine for Zach to do that as well.

And yet as much as Frankie told himself this over and over again, none of it was sitting well with him. And that was annoying in and of itself. He was still in Los Angeles but would be flying to Florida on Monday and having Thanksgiving there. Frankie tried to shake it off. He saw a movie. He went to The Abbey. But his heart wasn’t in it.

A few days after his conversation with Zach, he called Strigs who was in New York still recovering from her elbow surgery.  He told her about his conversation with Zach and Zach’s decision to come out and start dating guys.

“Well good for him,” Lauren said.

“Yeah I guess,” Frankie replied sourly.

“Why so negative Frankie? Didn’t it always bug you that he was closeted?”

“Yeah of course it did. It’s just … I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’m annoyed that he’s going to be hooking up with guys. Other guys. You know?”

“Frankie, you are INSANE. You want him when you can’t have him but then when he is finally outing himself and looking for a relationship, you run!! What do you expect him to do?!”

“I KNOOOOWWW! I’m the worst. It’s just – Arrrrr!!! That man drives me insane! Remember in Big Brother how I said to him _I hate you. I hate how much I love you_? Still true!”

Lauren laughed, then said, “Look Frankie. I’ve seen you with a lot of guys. Zach is infuriating and believe me, he has pissed ME off many times, so I can only imagine what he’s done to you. But I’ve also seen you together and it’s pretty intense. You look at each other like there’s no one else in the room and it’s clear that there’s a lot of love there. Also – Zach is someone who fell in love with you, just YOU, not having any idea who your family was. That’s going to be a rare thing for you and is something to remember. Maybe you can see him when you’re in Florida and take it from there.”

“Maybe… if he’s even willing to see me. He hasn’t been replying to my texts too regularly. Every once in awhile he does. He said that he told his parents that he’s gay and that he’s gone to a gay bar and is considering online dating. Can you imagine Zach on grindr? Yikes!“ 

“Well,” Lauren said, “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” 

“Yeah maybe. I kind of have an idea… but I’m having some, um, technical issues. Tell me what you think…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up soon I promise! Maybe even late tonight... (but don't hold me to it.)
> 
> Also remember this is fiction - so the dates etc. don't match up with what's happened in real life, but just go with it! Lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try try try  
> To follow the rules  
> I break everyone of them with boys like you  
> My oh my, doing what I always do  
> Yea I'm crossing every line to get to boys like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of "Worth It?" Enjoy! 
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers!

Zach couldn’t decide … the pale green shirt or the cream one.  What was wrong with him? He felt like a girl trying to decide what to wear to the prom. Just pick a damn shirt, he admonished himself. He went with the cream button down shirt and dark jeans. Simple and classic.

Zach was nervous. He couldn’t deny it. He and Tony had continued to text occasionally. Tony had asked him about how long he knew he was gay and when he came out. Zach explained that he had known he was gay since college but had only come out very recently and that this online dating thing was all new to him. He asked Tony about his story.

Tony said he knew he was gay by the time he was about 12 but he didn’t come out until his first year of college. He said that he was lucky that his family was very accepting and it had never been an issue. Sure he had faced hate and homophobia but he had developed a pretty thick skin. They talked about how much things had changed for the LGBT community just in the past few years.

Tony asked Zach if he’d ever had a serious relationship with a man.  Zach didn’t feel comfortable spilling all the details about Frankie so he just said that he sort of had one but it was complicated especially because of him being in the closet so it hadn’t worked out. Tony said that he had been single for awhile and dating a lot but felt like he might be ready for more of a steady relationship. 

They had exchanged texts about their families, their hobbies, and their favorite movies and TV shows. Tony wasn’t a golfer, but he was a gym rat and was always up for learning a new sport.  He told Zach that he loved hot yoga. Zach said he had never done it but he would be up for trying it.

It was only 6pm and Zach was dressed and ready to go. But he didn’t have to leave for another half hour or so. He was really tempted to take a few hits to calm his nerves but knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.

He picked up a PlayStation controller and started a mindless game of FIFA as the events of the past few days went through his mind. Things with his parents were … fine. They hadn’t really talked about his sexuality again and no one had filled Peyton in yet. They knew he was going out to clubs. He told him mom that he had a date tonight with someone he met online. She nodded saying that she hoped he had fun. She didn’t ask anything about the guy but Zach figured she would get there eventually.

Interestingly he had heard from Frankie many times since their phone conversation. Frankie texted Zach almost daily. Zach responded to most of the texts but often not right away. He told Frankie that he had come out to his parents and that it had gone well. He said that he was going out to gay clubs and looking into online dating.  Frankie’s responses were polite but not overly excited or inquisitive.

Zach had received a text Sunday afternoon.

Frankie: _Hey Zach – I’m flying to Florida tomorrow. I would love to maybe get together one day while I’m in town if you’re up for it._

Zach: _Maybe…tbh I’m not sure if it would be a great idea. You made it pretty clear you’re not looking for any kind of relationship with me and I don’t know what good it would do for us to get together._

Frankie: _Well, I’m sorry about that. I was a class A asshole I admit it. I’m really proud of you for coming out and I’m glad you’re getting out there. I’d love to make it up to you, maybe take you out for dinner or something. Beyond anything else, we’re still friends right? How about Tuesday?_

Zach: _I can’t Tuesday, sorry. I actually have a date believe it or not. How long are you staying in town? How about we talk after Thanksgiving and maybe we can find sometime over the weekend._

Frankie: A  _date? Wow! Well, that’s great, I’m happy for you. I actually extended my stay through next weekend so I’ll text you on Friday and maybe we can set something up. Have a happy Thanksgiving._

Zach: _You too Frankie. Give my best to the Grande women._

Zach couldn’t deny that his pulse quickened a little and his heart clenched whenever he heard from Frankie. It was going to take him some time to move on but Frankie made himself quite clear. Besides, Zach was feeling pretty good about Tony. He seemed to possess the qualities Zach admired most – humor and intelligence – and he was handsome and kind on top of it. Zach would always love Frankie and hoped that they could always be friends, but it just didn’t seem that a serious relationship was in the cards for them.

Zach looked at the clock and decided it wasn’t too early for him to leave. He wanted to arrive first since he had made the reservation under his name.  Or under Colin Rance that is.  Zach supposed he would have to tell Tony his real name. He planned on telling him about Big Brother and explaining why he had used another name.

Twenty minutes later, he was sitting at a private booth waiting for Tony. He had ordered a drink to calm his nerves and was looking at social media on his phone as he waited.  He was so engrossed scrolling through Instagram that he didn’t hear the man approach the table till he cleared his throat.

Zach looked up with a smile, nervous but excited to meet Tony at last.  He stared into the eyes of the gorgeous man standing in front of him and froze in utter confusion.

“Frankie? What are you doing here? Are you like … following me? Dude, I have a date tonight, I told you that! He’s gonna be here any minute.”

“Zach… or maybe I should call you Colin? I’m Tony. I’m your date.”

Zach was completely confused and immediately felt like a fool.

“WHAT???” he shouted.

Frankie slid into the booth, “Zach shhhh, calm down, let me explain.”

Zach glanced around, seeing other patrons looking at them but not giving a single fuck. 

“What the HELL are you talking about?” Zach barked, then lowered his voice only slightly as other diners began murmuring to themselves at the scene they were witnessing. “This is totally fucked up. Are you just playing with me? Couldn’t you just let me come out in peace, do my thing, meet someone new? DAMNIT Frankie, I’m so furious right now, I don’t know what to think. How did you even manage to do this? Who was the guy on the profile? Those pictures aren’t you. And the phone number – it has a Florida area code, it’s not your number!”

Frankie was scared. Maybe this had been a big mistake. He had never seen Zach this angry. Even when they had their falling out in the Big Brother house, Zach had been devastated and hurt, but he had never looked at Frankie with this much furor, even hatred. Frankie placed his hand over Zach’s to try to calm him, but Zach pulled his hand away as if he’d been burned, crossing his arms and giving Frankie a death stare. 

Frankie gulped, and began to try to explain quietly, “The pictures are of a guy named Timmy. He’s on Ari’s crew and was kind enough to let me borrow his image. And when you suggested exchanging phone numbers to text, well, I took an old iPhone to AT&T and added a new line with a Florida area code to my plan.”

Zach was completely flabbergasted. Why would Frankie go to all of this trouble? It made no sense.

“But how did you find me? I changed my name, I didn’t go on grindr, I thought OKCupid would be obscure.”

“Well, I called Lauren and talked to her about all of this. When I told her I wanted to try to, quote-unquote, meet you on a dating site, but that I couldn’t find your profile anywhere, she called AJ to see if he knew what site you were using. And AJ knew everything. So the rest is history.”

Zach was silent.  He didn’t know what to think. He had been so excited to meet Tony. They had connected so well and seemed so compatible. Except there was no Tony. That was Frankie. It was Frankie he connected with.

Zach put his face in his hands, gathering himself.

Finally he looked up, his eyes cold. “Frankie what are you doing? You made it very clear that your life doesn’t allow for a relationship right now. You are focused on your career and you travel all the time, never in one place for more than a few days. That’s what you said. None of that has changed. And hey, that’s okay. That’s your prerogative. But we want and need different things right now. I’m sorry I can’t do this. Just let me get on with my life. Please.”

Zach stood up, pulled a $20 bill out of his pocket and threw it on the table then walked toward the front door.

Frankie was initially shocked at Zach’s abrupt exit but then scurried after him. He called out to the hostess as he dashed out, “Save our table. We’ll be back!”

Frankie heard the beep of Zach’s car doors unlocking and sprinted across the parking lot. He grabbed Zach’s arm just as he was opening the driver side door.

“Zach wait! Don’t go,” he panted. “Please. Let me explain. Just give me a minute and then if you want to go, I’ll let you go. Okay?”

Zach stared at him silently for a good 20 seconds, then said, “Fine.”

“Okay, good.” Frankie took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

“Look, I meant what I said last week. Or I thought I did. It’s been really hard for me to be seeing you secretly the past year because it goes against everything I believe. I’ve told you how I dated a man who identified as straight and it was horrible for me, not being able to be seen in public together and all that. And also – I _am_ super focused on my career. And I _don’t_ stay in one place for long. So that is challenging and I really have felt like I don’t have the time to put into a relationship right now.

“But the minute you told me that not only were you going to come out but that you were going to be actively dating, I sort of freaked out. I’d never really thought about the implications of you being an out gay man. I got queasy every time I thought of you at a gay bar being hit on. Or being on grindr and hooking up with some guy in the neighborhood. Or meeting someone online who you really like. It was easy when you were dating girls. Because I know and you know that nothing serious was ever going to come of it. Even if you were sleeping with them, I knew that you probably didn’t like it very much. But other guys – I just didn’t want you to be with other guys.”

Zach laughed bitterly, “Seriously Frankie? You hook up with other guys all the time. How do you think I feel? How do you think I’ve felt for the past year? It kills me! But I keep it to myself because that’s been the arrangement. It’s such a double standard and to be honest it’s made me feel like shit about myself.”

“Yeah,” Frankie acknowledged, “I get that. I really do. I mean you know that sex for me is mostly just fun and recreational. I can fool around with guys, have a great time, and leave it at that with no emotional connection or baggage.  That has been the majority of my sex and dating life for the past decade or so. And believe me, it’s true about everyone I’ve hooked up with since Big Brother ended… Except for you. With you it was never just recreational. I couldn’t just write it off as fun and meaningless.  And that scared the fuck out of me. And sort of pissed me off.  Sometimes I think life would be a lot easier if I wasn’t so hung up on you!“

The defiance and anger in Zach’s stare and in his stance seemed to be softening a little. Frankie hoped he wasn’t imagining it. It seemed like he might actually be getting through to him.

“Okay,” Zach said, “I hear what you’re saying but I still don’t see how it makes any difference. I live in Florida, I have a pretty simple life. You’re part of a famous wealthy family and you lead a glamorous celebrity filled life. How are we ever going to be able to reconcile that?”

“I don’t know,” Frankie confessed. “You’re right; our lives are very different. And it will be challenging. A big part of a relationship’s success is being willing to compromise. And we are both going to have to do that. I need to respect your life in Florida and be willing to spend more time here, make this one of my bases. And you are going to have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone and be a part of my public life. Which will mean leaving Florida more, maybe even living with me in a different city at some point. I know that’s asking a lot of you. But – I have come to realize over the last week that what we have is worth fighting for. And that despite everything else… I _love_ you Zachary Colin Rance.”

Zach’s eyes immediately filled with tears. He hastily wiped them away then smirked at Frankie.

“I really had a thing for Tony you know! This was fucked up!”

Frankie smirked back, “Tony is awesome. He’s a really good kisser too.”

“Yeah?” Zach asked.

“Yeah,” Frankie replied, as he tugged on the hem of Zach’s shirt bringing him close. He ran his thumb across Zach’s cheek then over his lips as Zach wrapped his arms around Frankie’s waist and pressed their bodies together.  Frankie closed the distance between them and joined their lips, grabbing onto the hair at the back of Zach’s neck pulling him as close as possible. Zach’s knees felt weak as he held onto Frankie tightly and deepened the kiss. He felt like he was home.

Finally Frankie pulled away to catch his breath, touching his forehead to Zach’s.

“I love you too Frankie,” Zach said simply. "And I know that I haven't made it easy for you. It's been a tough road for me, but I feel really good about coming out and being proud of who I am. It will definitely take both of us to make this work. All I can promise you is that I'm in it for the long haul."

Frankie hugged Zach tightly, then pulled back, saying, “How about that sushi dinner you promised me? I told the hostess to save our table.” 

“Ha,” joked Zach, “I promised _Tony_ a sushi dinner. You’re the one who wanted to take me out for a romantic dinner, so this one’s on you!”

“It would be my pleasure,” Frankie replied as he grabbed Zach’s hand leading him back toward the entrance. They walked in a companionable silence, both sort of stunned at the turn the night had taken.

“Hot yoga though? Really?” Zach joked. 

Frankie laughed, “Don’t knock it till you try it, Colin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this story! Were you surprised or had you figured it out? Comments and feedback are always welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a one shot, but I decided to make it multi-chapter although probably not too many.
> 
> Feedback is always welcome. :)


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